Why should I leave written instructions about my final ceremonies and the disposition of my body?
Why should I leave written instructions about my final ceremonies and the disposition of my body?
Letting your survivors know your wishes spares them the difficulty of making these decisions at a painful time. And many family members and friends find that discussing these matters ahead of time is great relief -- especially if a person is elderly or in poor health and death is expected soon.
Making plans can also save money. For many people, death goods and services cost more than anything they bought during their lives except homes and cars. Some wise comparison shopping in advance can ensure that costs will be controlled.
Why not leave instructions for my final ceremonies and the disposition of my body in my will?
A will is not a good place to express your death and burial preferences for one simple reason: Your will might not be located and read until several weeks after you die -- long after decisions must be made.
A will should be reserved for directions on how to divide and distribute your property and, if applicable, who should get care and custody of your children if you die while they're still young.
What happens if I don't leave written instructions for my final ceremonies and the disposition of my body?
If you die without leaving written instructions about your preferences, state law will usually determine who will have the right to decide how your remains will be handled. In most states, the right -- and the responsibility to pay for the reasonable costs of disposing of remains -- rests with the following people, in order:
- spouse or registered domestic partner
- child or children
- parent or parents
- the next of kin, or
- a public administrator, who is appointed by a court.
Disputes may arise if two or more people -- the deceased person's children, for example -- share responsibility for a fundamental decision, such as whether the body of a parent should be buried or cremated. But such disputes can be avoided if you are willing to do some planning and to put your wishes in writing.
In an increasing number of states, if you make a health care power of attorney, you can give the person you name to make health care decisions for you (your "agent") the power to make decisions about your remains. But, even if you do this, you may want to leave written instructions about your wishes. Your health care agent will be legally required to follow your directions, though he or she is not required to pay for the arrangements -- the money will come from your assets or family members who are legally required to pay.
What details should I include in a final arrangements document?
What you choose to include is a personal matter, likely to be dictated by custom, religious preference, or simply your own whims. A typical final arrangements document might include:
- whether you want your remains to be buried or cremated
- the name of the mortuary or other institution that will handle burial or cremation
- whether or not you want your body to be embalmed
- the type of casket or container in which your remains will be buried or cremated, including whether you want it present at any after-death ceremony
- the details of any ceremony you want before the burial or cremation
- who your pallbearers will be if you wish to have some
- how your remains will be transported to the cemetery and gravesite
- where your remains will be buried, stored, or scattered
- the details of any ceremony you want to accompany your burial, interment, or scattering, and
- the details of any marker you want to show where your remains are buried or interred.
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DISCLAIMER: This site and any information contained herein are intended for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice. Seek competent legal counsel for advice on any legal matter.
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